I am listening to that Kirk Franklin & Toby Mac song and I am fighting so hard to be still… and know that He is God. Yes I know deep inside that He is God but why is the being still so hard?

I am tired. I am confused, I don’t want to face anyone at any time. I can’t smile because deep down I am hurting. I am saddened that even though I know that I know that He is God, and despite the fact that I know that because He is, I am and He is love… I want to just break down and let it show on my face in my walk and my ‘swag’ that I am not ashamed of whom I love and I shall stand for what is right no matter what.

Even when it feels like my efforts are unappreciated, I shan’t compromise the goodness of the Lord in me. I shall not be made to feel small because if the Lord is my Father, then I am the daughter of a King!!

Wooooo…. I came here sad and drained but just in typing the above, I am a new person… Changed from the one who in a fit of tears bumped the ka white pillar at garden city, who wanted to cancel all programs so that I could go home and crawl into mama’s lap and cry some more.

Guess what, even though this involves someone i know and love very very much, I am not going to compromise. I shall deal with everything with love and in love. And most of all, I shall be still and I shall keep on trying day in and day out to make things better.

I only pray that God grants me the energy and strength to go through everything with grace and humility. The pain, that thing tugging at my heart is actually just a silly weapon of the devil… i know now that it is not from God and of God. He doesn’t want His princess to hurt or shake or be confused. No, all that comes from Him is good and perfect in every way!

So devil, listen carefully. You have no control over me. I am not afraid of you. Your antics are old and are not match for the Holy Spirit that lives in me. Jesus. is. Lord. And He reigns!

… I AM STILL…

He is God!
Shalom

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